Featured image via @elesq / Instagram
“… and they lived happily ever after.”
Now, that’s a chapter we all want in our lives. A house to shelter us from sun and rain; a loving spouse; beautiful children, if you do plan to have more than one into this expensive world; comfortable beds and a table filled with everything nice. Maybe you’d get a pet, or two, or more. But again, that’s just my definition of ‘home’.
Unfortunately, sorry to break this to you—that usually only happens in fairy tales.
We live in real world where life is no bed of roses. Some are lucky to be born with silver spoons; some probably lived a portion of that fairytale; and the remainings are forced to learn life the hard way.
Amy Dangin, a renowned radio deejay, is one who has a story to tell. We all know her wittiness on air. She has this persona of someone who has everything well cut for her. A life full of excitement. She speaks her mind. She’s just full of life.
But behind that witty self, she’s just as broken as anyone else. And her recent video tells it all.
For someone who loves Peppa Pig, and probably watched every cartoon on television with her growing children, she would probably be the right person to mimic Doraemon.
Who does not love Doraemon? I know I do, or I did … but that does not make it alright to be Doraemon-ish to your spouse, That’s sounds so degrading … kan? That aside, let’s go back to Amy, or better known as Aunty Patrin, to her fans.
In her video, she opened up to everyone about growing up with an abusive father. When she was eight, she wiped out the blood off her mother for the first time, who suffered from the abuse for as long as she could remember. Her mom survived, Amy said, but they had to endure the pain until her father passed.
For a cartoon-lover, I think that bit about talking in Doraemon’s voice to avoid being abused by your spouse is so not cool. Domestic violence exists. It is as deadly as the Covid-19 virus. Problem is, there is no cure for such violence. It will go on, and on, and on, until probably someone ends up dead. The only way is to stay out of the danger zone. But for housewives, that’s probably not an option.
In her video, we could hear Amy saying: “Domestic violence is real, it has been happening before the quarantine (movement control order) period. Now, it will definitely increase especially now.”
The sexist comment from the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry forced Amy to go back to her painful childhood memories.
She remembered how they would curl up in fear whenever her late father came home drunk. They knew the abuse would start.
“I remember whenever our dad came home drunk, we would be scared at night , berabis dia pukul, dia tumbuk, dia buang dari katil sampai mama saya tidak boleh jalan, she had to wear sunglasses for weeks. I had to wipe blood from my mother’s face, sebab bapa saya tumbuk hidung dia, I remember that I was 8-years-old having to wipe blood off her face.”
Fast-forward seven years later, teenage Amy confronted her father. She told him that the abuse was tearing the family apart. Lucky for her, her dad realised his mistakes and made peace.
She believes that in Sabah, domestic violence is high. The numbers may not reflect the real situation because more cases go unreported.
Her sharing her story is not meant to wash the family’s dirty laundry in public. Amy just wanted to tell you and me that domestic violence exists. And we are not alone. She went through hell growing up. But that thought her to be a stronger person today. Maybe she did some mistakes here and there, but she must have done something right to put her where she is today.
So let’s just put our hands and heads together, and fight this war. Let us stop domestic violence. Let us open up our hands and hearts to help those in need, regardless of gender, or the colour of your skin. It is just right to reach out and help. And as for the victims out there, do not be ashamed or scared to accept these helping hands. Let yourselves be helped. That might save your life.